Do you find yourself thinking or saying that you ‘aren’t good enough?’ Do you constantly compare yourself unfavourably to others? Then you might have low self confidence. Here are some tips to help you boost the way you feel.
If you find that you answered ‘yes’ to both questions above then you might need to try a new way of thinking. Training your brain to think positively about yourself will help to improve your self confidence. If you have low self confidence this might seem hard, but it’s not. Take some time each day to think about yourself kindly. Acknowledge your achievements. Congratulate yourself for a job well done. Small steps will add up to a big change overall. If you compare yourself to others, cut that out right now! People with low self confidence can describe others lovingly and reserve criticism for themselves. Calling yourself fat, ugly, stupid, incompetent, or saying that you are not good enough, not muscly enough etc does nothing for you. Nothing. At all. Take a moment to ask yourself where these thoughts come from. Did you form these judgements about yourself when you were upset or something bad had just happened? Did someone tell you that you ‘weren’t good enough?’ It might be that the starting point of your low self confidence isn’t your fault, and please remember, confident people don’t put others down…..
Write an ‘I AM’ list
This is one of many great ways to help you to think more positively about yourself and raise your self esteem. Here’s what you need to do - get a piece of paper or start a new note in your phone. Think about all the things that are good and great about you. Write them down, you need to have at least five things in your list. For example, you could have: ‘I am intelligent’, ‘I am a good friend’, ‘I am helpful’, ‘I am determined’, ‘I am successful’, ‘I am confident’ and so on.
Finish it off by writing a positive statement that begins with ‘I AM’. It doesn’t have to be too long, a couple of sentences is fine. Make sure it includes at least five of the things on your ’I AM’ list. If you have written it on paper put it somewhere in your room where you can see it everyday. If you wrote it in your phone, read it everyday. Try to repeat your statement three times every morning before you leave your house, this will help you to believe in yourself and feel more confident throughout the day. Keep practising this until it becomes a habit and you know your statement by heart. Understanding the greatness that is within you will help you to show your greatness in the world around you.
Be daring, try something new
Your confidence in your self and your own abilities will grow as you begin to try that little bit harder. Think about what you would like to do, but have never dared to try. Each month, set yourself three confidence increasing challenges. These could be speaking up more in class, applying for a new job, finding a new hobby or simply trying to take better care of yourself. (You might be wondering how that last one is a challenge but some people with low confidence think they don’t really deserve to be taken care of). Check your progress each week by setting yourself milestones – doing this will help you to break your challenge down into manageable chunks. So, if you decide that you want to play football for a local team start by making a list of clubs around you, then get in contact, go for try outs and so on, until you get to play for a team. Don’t worry if you don’t reach a goal in time, it may take a little longer than expected, and that’s OK. Don't be afraid to keep trying if things don't go as planned. The whole point is to do your best for yourself, and you deserve the best!
Ask for help and help someone out!
Do you ever see people that seem to have it all together? You know, the type that should be wearing a superhero cape because they have everything perfectly in order? Well here is their secret – they ask for help. They know when they feel overloaded or unsure and speak up. When you have a problem that you are struggling with ask yourself this question – ‘Who do I know that can help me?’ Is it a friend? Teacher? Careers adviser? Youth Worker? Family member? Don’t be afraid to ask for help, it’s not a sign of weakness, it shows you know that there is power in numbers.
Another great way to raise your confidence is to help someone else. By doing something nice for another person you can ‘get out of your head’ and start to do positive things for others. Have a look on V-inspired to see if there are any volunteering opportunities that interest you. You can also use your ‘I AM’ list to see if you have any skills or qualities that you can use to help someone out.
Don’t forget to have some ‘me’ time!
Exercise is an excellent mood booster. Spending five minutes in the morning doing some light exercise will help to increase your levels of happiness and get you energised for the day. You could follow a short workout on You Tube. Having a healthy diet also helps to boost your mood so try to make sensible decisions about what you eat and drink.
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you have lots to do. Balancing coursework, studying for exams or work can be draining. Make sure you find time to relax as this will help you to de-stress. I call this time the ‘wind down’ – doing this before bed helps you to unwind and get a great nights sleep, helping you be ready for the day ahead.
Be Incredible. Stay Brilliant.